You unconsciously allow your troubled past to dictate the trajectory of your life.

Exactly like a puppeteer, your unwillingness to face traumas allow the past to control your decisions, relationships and life outcomes. Unexpected situations leave their mark [often times leaving such a deep wound] on the psyche that guides your every move. These unconscious drives, born from the past pains, silently shape your future - often in ways you don’t even realize.

But what if there was actually a practical way for you to cut those strings?

To release the death like grip of trauma and find an unexpected peace of mind…

The answer lies not in trying more as you’re accustom to, but in the counterintuitive act of doing less to let go which achieves more. It’s a discipline that challenges everything you thought you knew about healing and personal growth. This path builds the courage [to face the demons you’ve been running away from for years to decades of your life] that is mandatory to achieve your most desired life experiences.

This is the story of how letting go can be the most powerful self-development tool of all time.

TRAMUA IS THE BYPRODUCT OF YOUR PAST

When you are young and vulnerable, unable to fend for yourself, you are at the mercy of your environment.

Look both ways before crossing the street… otherwise you will be hit by a car.
Learn how to use the toilet when you need to go… or people will laugh at you.
This is how [insert your citizenship here] do it… so you will be accepted.

This is why a child’s upbringing [more specifically the external influences] plays such a vital role in not only the growing up process, but more specifically: the child’s beliefs, identity, sense of Self and more.

These environmental conditions were installed to make the learning process efficient. Making it easier for a tiny human to become socially well adjusted and become another of member of society via osmosis.

If you are lucky to come from a loving family that is financially stable you have been blessed [dodging the majority of life’s troubles that billions of others in less fortunate positions simply do not possess].

And yet even with ideal circumstances:

Life does not always turn out perfect in an imperfect world.

It takes nothing but a single moment to have everything come crumbling down.

For example - if a parent forgets to pick up their child from school…

The brief experience causes emotional turmoil as to why their mom/dad wasn’t there.

• Leading to insecurity of one’s self-worth and feelings of abandonment.

• Self-esteem drops because the child feels unloved for being forgotten.

• Feelings of loneliness spikes social anxiety and lowered self-confidence.

All this could happen by a silly mistake such as forgetting to set a notification.

It doesn’t matter the reason behind the parent’s mistake as the child’s experience from the event is what ingrains the trauma…

Then you consider how nobody’s child is 100% perfect - combined with the margin for error - you get an extremely fragile situation to handle when you are a grown adult.

You see.

Traumas are closely tied to emotionally strong experiences for a very good reason.

It was evolution’s way to biological wire you, and the rest of the human civilization throughout the years, ensuring survival as a signal to learn a lesson.

What’s the best way to learn?

Not just by making a mistake, but from the feeling of pain [made you remember the experience by standing out] so you would reflect on the event to collect the rational lessons to prevent you from repeating the mistake.

Remember: a simple mistake during evolutionary times meant death.

However, with advanced technology and the exponential rate of innovation, under today’s living conditions - we can still experience traumatic experiences and not be incentivized to correct the behavior as if life or death depended on it.

Now add the fact reflection is not a common practice so many continue about their lives… without analyzing the cause and effect elements that contributed to their current life circumstances and it’s trajectory.

From there add in a trauma induced civilization that continues to follow their unconscious drives in a society that was scientifically designed to appeal towards “avoid pain and seek pleasure.” and their are zero signs of it slowing down with the arrival of artificial intelligence.

Pandora’s box has been opened and it can never be closed again.

UNCONSCIOUS TRAUMAS DICTATE FUTURE

You might think you’ve left your past behind, but your traumas are always one step ahead of you.

It whispers in your ear when you’re about to take a risk.
It tightens your chest when you’re on the verge of vulnerability.
It slams on the brakes just as you’re about to accomplish a goal.

And the worst part?

You do not even know it’s happening as it often goes unnoticed...

Yes, even if you are aware of your traumas, you are in fact still operating unconsciously of yet another unrealized trauma lurking in the shadows.

You find yourself:

• Sabotaging specific relationships repeating the same behavior

• Procrastinating on that business idea you’ve always wanted

• Shying away from opportunities that could change your life

You tell yourself it’s just who you are [justify your lack of action through countless self-detrimental backwards rationalizations] not moving in the direction of your most desired life experiences.

But really “who you are” is not you. It’s the puppet master of your past, trauma, pulling your strings.

The more you struggle against these invisible forces, the tighter the grip becomes…

Trauma wraps you exactly like a snake.

The harder you fight, the tighter the squeeze gets.

Think of all the possible ways an individual can overcompensate their traumas.

You quite literally exhaust yourself trying to out run your shadows.

And the cycle viciously continues:

• Trauma creates fear

• Fear drives behavior

• Behavior reinforces trauma

Gone untreated it becomes impossible to break.

But what if the key to freedom isn’t in fighting harder?

What if it’s in something so counterintuitive, so against everything you’ve been taught about life, that it feels like yet another stupid idea.

What if the thing [you’ve been chasing after all this time] is found in letting go?

YOUR GREATEST PAIN IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT

To illustrate how trauma can shape our lives and how we can ultimately overcome it, let me share a very personal story...

Before we get into the good stuff - I need to state this:
In order for you to have a great learning experience, I must write from a first person perspective instead of creating a hypothetical situation that does not deeply connect to my emotions. I share my experience only for you to have a better grasp of today’s entry [and not to stroke my ego via seeking sympathy nor bragging].

One of my deepest traumas that left a significant impact on my life came from:

Being bullied during childhood into my adolescence years.

These accumulated experiences compiled to a point where my thoughts lead me down a path of beliefs that was detrimental to my life.

If it continued [and I allowed it to happen without doing anything] I would definitely not be here writing this to you today.

Imagine:

Skipping lunch every day to wait in the high school bathrooms due to the fear of other opinions seeing me as someone sitting alone without friends.

Times where I was on the football team only so I could be active and yet all the cool kids constantly kept making fun of me for a laugh with zero signs of sympathy for my situation.

Having a “relative” with mental issues using you as a emotional punching bag for years [and once actually physically hit me on top of other things I do not want to mention as it gets darker…].

As you can predict this lead to an extremely dark and negative head space that took a heavy emotional toll during a young age where the brain is developing and preparing for adulthood.

I encourage you to pause and imagine if you were in these situations [where both parents where not around] and how you would have dealt with the headspace.

My life was in a heavy negative spiral that continued to go down…

And yet when you reach rock bottom - you literally have nowhere else to go but up because you have absolutely nothing to lose anymore.

Your Ego becomes completely destroyed.

The thoughts and opinions of other do not matter anymore.
The fear of rejection becomes obsolete.
The only regret becomes not trying.

And this is exactly where “mental jiu-jitsu” comes into play under these undesirable circumstances.

The very essential of mental jiu-jitsu is to turn a negative weakness into positive strength.

Reflecting back - I’ve spent my later half of my life in such a different reality that many call “living the dream” which I briefly mentioned before in previously entries.

Analyzing all my indispensable strengths and skillsets that I possess, they came directly from my greatest weaknesses and those traumatic life experiences.

From being a complete longer to having an absolutely incredible group of friends, who I consider more like my extended family, in all corners of the globe.

From being made a laughing stock of the football team to nobody I know would dare say such things to me knowing my martial arts experience level.

From being completely traumatized by bullying [which lead me on an adventure living in countless foreign countries nearing a dozen years] to reaching a level of personal development beyond my younger self’s wildest imagination.

There are two options in life:

1. Reactive

2. Proactive

Despite your decision on how to act - life and time moves on regardless of your choice.

You see.

It is normal to fight the past in order to improve your circumstance.

However, there comes a point of reaching a certain level of success, where all your progress comes from avoiding pain and living a life in reaction to the past.

There is another aspect of the journey many have not completed yet.

To reach your true potential:

You must let go of the past and realize that that wound was a womb that became the catalyst of your self-transformation.

You would not be the person you are today without the help of your past as it happened for you, not to you.

My journey from trauma to triumph isn't unique.

Each of us has the power to apply these principles to our own lives, turning our greatest pains into our greatest strengths.

Think of all the names throughout history that overcame tremendous adversity.

All you need are things that can be learned and applied: self-discipline, grit, perseverance, willingness to learn [and not dependent on factors such as naturally gifted traits from birth].

EMBRACING THE PARADOX OF LETTING GO

Your journey through life's traumas isn't about fighting harder… it's about mastering the art of surrender.

This counterintuitive approach challenges everything you thought you knew about healing and achieving success:

• Trauma's grip tightens when you struggle against it

• Your greatest pain can become your most powerful gift

• Letting go requires more discipline than holding on

By embracing this paradox, you unlock a transformative power within yourself:

• You cut the strings of your past, freeing yourself from unconscious drives

• Your weaknesses become strengths, reshaping your identity

• You find unexpected peace in the very act of surrender

The self-detrimental habit of seeking it outside of yourself comes to an abrupt ends… finally.

Remember: this isn't about passivity. It's about the most active form of self-development - choosing to release what no longer serves you from the past.

As you practice mental jiu-jitsu with your traumas, you'll discover that your greatest obstacles become your most profound teachers - a blessing in disease.

The key lies not in fighting harder, but in letting go with purpose and courage.

Your unexpected peace of mind awaits for you on the other side of surrender.

LET GO

See ya on the mats,

POJ