Have you ever felt lost in life?

Why not drop everything, go travel the world then go experience what happens next... and yes, that’s exactly what I did.

A little over twelve years ago, to this very day, my mom dropped me off at the airport [on a one way ticket heading overseas for the very first time]. As you can imagine being a completely lost young adult [without a damn clue what this next adventure ensues] it was far from easy.

I seat here now in the very same airport reflecting back on these dozen years of accumulative life changing experiences…

Wow

That is all that comes to mind trying to comprehend what had just happened as a rush of emotions overwhelm my body and mind.

If for some bizarre miracle happened that me from 12 years ago could have a face to face conversation with who I am now then this:

What I’ll share with you today would be wiser me sharing a profound insight based on a unique life experience [not many possess alive today given the circumstances I endured].

This entry will be a special one for someone that has ever felt loss to the point where they have no unique core identity and find oneself constantly following the trends to be viewed as “one of the cool kids.”

Answering the ever so common question…

“Who am I really?“

YOUR ASSIGNED A ROLE

When you stop and think about the nuances that occurred during the first two decades of your life:

You have been told why, what and how to do specific things from authoritative figures.

Depending on a specific time, there comes moments in life where a nagging feeling will occur to break away from the crowd [which varies in both season and stages of life].

When you dive deeper, you’ll discover that the amount of decisions made from you specifically do not come even remotely close to the amount of orders you have blindly accepted then completed for the authority dictating your life.

Meaning you do not necessarily know how to think for yourself.

Look.

The essential first step to self-autonomy is feeling lost.

If you are there, give yourself a massive pat on the back because many people today [will continue the rat race to avoid this lost feeling] while their soul quietly suffers inside over time.

It take courage to embrace the feeling of being lost.

In fact, it is one of the most easiest solutions [to voluntarily sign up to being told what to do] in order to escape this uncomfortable feeling.

Without going too deep into the topic of consciousness and getting side tracked from today’s subject of focus:

Your mind is heavily identified with Ego to the point where it must latch onto something to identity with it so ego can survive. The mere thought of not being able to identify itself would wreck the whole operating system if not ready as there’s a lot of questions that need answering as it cannot comprehend a reality of non-identification.

For this reason you unconsciously/consciously copy specific groups of people to be apart of a tribe instead of being the loner outcast [embracing your true individualistic nature regardless who joins or not].

Remember: in evolutionary context isolation meant death hence why stress and anxiety is experienced with thoughts of loneliness.

A COPYCAT SOCIETY

Evolving from hunter gather systems based on being accepted to become apart of community - you are incentivized to become a replica of your tribe members.

It almost looks as if there was a template created with the sole purpose of being a tribal member.

This becomes evidently clear when you observe the adolescence age bracket as the vast majority have not even come close to truly embracing their unique individuality.

Have you ever noticed how “the cool kids” from high school look like a fish out of water upon arriving on a new college campus that does not give a single fuck who they are nor where they came from?

No wonder they scramble to fraternities and sororities to enter a new tribe.

Not only are at the bottom of the totem pole, they have go through humiliating rituals to be accepted apart of the tribe.

I’m not sure about you, but I saw this from a mile away for what it was and had absolutely zero interest in becoming somebody’s bitch.

You see.

This ripple effect continues into their lives after college where they enter the work force.

However, those that do seek to improve themselves, I notice an unconscious pattern that self help junkies do that gives a “off” vibe about them [even with a extremely well versed social network in vast amount of industries, cultures and interests - small percentage of them can notice this detail].

Here’s where it gets extremely interesting…

THE BICYCLE & TRAINING WHEELS

Humans are a blank canvas.

Without any idea where to begin, how to answer the infamous “who am I” question, I believe the source of inspirations always originates from the external [while the internal simply monitors the resonates that comes with exploring natural curiosity].

These points of inspiration come in the forms of individuals called role models no matter what the interest is.

From there humans naturally tap into the ‘monkey see, monkey do’ via osmosis [an in person energetic way of learning from reading both verbal and nonverbal cues].

Role models become a direct mentor to learn from.

More specially:

Mentors are used as training wheels to help the individual find their own unique sense of balance.

While enduring the apprentice learning phase, we adopt core fundamentals that allow us to navigate this domain that resonates with our soul to the point our point of focus becomes singular in a world overflowing with distracts.

Eventually the great mentor teaches the student so much to the point where he/she becomes his/her own master.

But here’s the thing:

A significant amount continue using the mentor as apart of a persona via ego projection, without the ability to truly balance on their own.

Read that again before you move on.

To put it in another way to fully grasp such an abstract idea:

This individual has not revisited nor truly embrace parts of themselves during the development process as they have been running scared this time ie real vulnerability.

Instead they have projected a fake facade [replicating this persona based on their mentor] while gaining positive reference points [completely neglecting their true selfs].

As this continues, on a deeper level, these “individuals” deep down have yet to truly accepted themselves…

If they did then what is the need to continue acting like someone is not?

[Insert every justifiable excuse here]

All that needs to be said:

If that were true… why don’t you take off the training wheels then?

Because he/she would fall right off [nobody wants to look dumb and feel humiliated after boasting…]

Reality is these types cannot because they have never actually got the chance to find their own balance.

Instead they have just relied so heavily on these training wheels “persona” to the point they truly believe they’ve made this “progress” via delusion.

There’s a reason why authenticity cannot be faked…
There’s a reason why authenticity does not give an “off” vibe…
There’s a reason why authenticity embraces individuality to the fullest…

Authenticity knows how to balance on it’s own without training wheels.

That is true self-transformation.

This article is turning out longer than I expected so will cut it short here for you to digest before I release the next bit diving deeper into how to find your balance.

See ya on the mats,

POJ