Have you ever felt like you keep having the SAME fuckin' argument over and over again?

Those type of 'stuck in the mud' arguments where you feel the conversation is absolutely going nowhere. It feels as if you're stuck in an alternative universe that forces you to experience the torment on repeat… like seriously imagine a reality where you hear the song you hated most on a repeated loop.

WARNING: if you are not careful this will ultimately lead you down a disastrous path.

But there's hope:

Your one and only way out of this death trap is to become an excellent conversationalist. By simply developing one of the most essential life skillsets: you will make people feel extremely eager to be in your presence again. Life enjoyment is just the by product at this point.

By applying these lessons - you will:

• Become a human magnetic that projects this unique aura that absorbs the most compatible individuals who have a geniune desire to connect with you.

• Have every tool [and most importantly practical steps] to eliminate these recurring problems for the rest of your life… if only you have the courage - more on this later.

• Know exactly how to eliminate this one inherited self-sabotaging trait that's preventing you from truly accelerate your learning curves in ways you never thought possible.

With that said, let's get into the juicy bit as there's a lot to cover today…

THE ORIGINS

If the vast majority of the population are narcissistic by law of averages…

Would it not be a fair conclusion [keeping in mind society is completely obsessed with vanity] to the point it has become a priority to keep clawing their way up the dominance hierarchy to be viewed socially superior than others?

Remember: there are tremendous rewards and social benefits that contribute value to every human being wired for survival and reproduction.

Look around, the evidence is all around you.

If you truly didn't care about being viewed as "high status" you would not have an outfit that resembles a bum (unless you are apart of a subculture where you are the leader).

How come you don't invest the bare minimum into a car that gets you from point A to B.

Why does car brands like Mercedes, BMW, Bentleys and Lamborghini exist? If all it was meant was yet another means of transportation.

Simply put:

It conveys the 'owner' has scarce resources [the vast majority cannot possess] which directly communicates high hierarchal position [without actually requiring to put proactive effort forward compared to other methods to produce an impression on others in order to prove their worth].

Multiple this by women's hard wired desire for hypergamy to ensure their security [best genes for offspring, financial stability, ego gratification, etc.) then multiple that again by testosterone filled men wired to reproduce at any means necessary.

With all this said…

Our primal nature is evolutionary designed to always be appealing to our own self-interest [because if you do not focus on yourself, the chances of survival drastically decrease - unless you are apart of a tribe and live in a life threathening environment].

You most likely will be thinking - where exactly does arguments come into all of this?

In a nutshell, arguments occur because the speakers are so self-absorbed [and prioritize hearing the sound of their own voice] higher than prioritizing the resolve of a conflict caused by miscommunication to get a better grasp of abstract truth.

With over a decade of meditation practice underneath my belt, it becomes glaringly obvious how difficult of a task it is to "silence the voice in your mind."

So now you have two people in conversation, who cannot actually listen, waiting until the speaker is done talking [or worse: interupt mid sentence] to verbalize what they were planning to say, while the other was talking at them, not with them.

You have one individual speaking on a specific topic while the other is busy thinking about what to say while disregarding the nuances of the topic.

See the MASSIVE dilemma?

Now consider every single individual's level of social skills which varies on an infinite amount of variables… like self-awareness, depth of focus, emotional maturity, culture, education, etc.

Personally: communication had become my number one priority early in life [above money, travel, education and other popular choices]. And thank God my younger self made that critical life decision that revolutionized the trajectory of my life as the return on investment has been quite substantial.

I would highly advise you to reflect on the nuances of your most recent arguments [to better identify these nuances mentioned so far] as we are only going to go deeper from here.

HOW TO CREATE GENUINE CONNECTION THROUGH ARGUMENTS

Your ego's pride is the reason why you are unsatisfied with the lack of tangible life results you have today.

"No, I don't have time for that… I don't need to learn about [insert subject here]."

"This person has nothing to teach me… so why would I need to listen?"

"He don't know what he's talking about… I'm older so naturally I know more than he does."

You know.

If you actually humble your ego - to learn and grow - you would have everything you've always wanted already.

The results are what truly reveal what you actually know [no matter what you tell yourself through self-affirmation to comfort your ego to justify your unconscious actions].

There's absolutely no one to blame, but yourself here.

Your brain wants to see proof, not be told false promises.

Shift away from this cocky and arrogant paradigm so you can open up your horizons to infinity.

I rarely reread books, but I have read Dr. Peterson's book over a dozen times at this point [sometimes it would be two rereads in a year].

Reason being?

It was one of the books that influenced me in such a way that radically altered my life perspective.

A true lasting paradigm shift that produces tangible results.

The content that lie in that book should not be taken lightly as it has the power to change your life forever.

This isn't a book report, but I am going to share with you the nuance discoveries after actively experimenting with his teachings throughout the years.

You see.

Removing all the bad habits developed through our naive years, you must cut the fat away if you want the best lean cuts of conversation to experience social connections that give your life substance.

Firstly, you must remember there is only ONE microphone in every social interaction.

Conversation is about EXPRESSion.

When you have one microphone and a group of people all shouting over each other - chaos ensures while you and everyone involved get nowhere.

So before you say something by interrupting the speaker's flow, imagine they're holding a microphone and you only speak after they're done [the microphone is handed over to you to speak].

Secondly, this leads us to Active Listening, which is my best 'secret' weapon.

This communication skill is about silencing your own internal monologue and giving the speaker the steering wheel to take over your mind.

Monk like meditative state of mind.

Look.

Your imagination is there for a reason.

Absorb other's imagination expressed through their own unique expression [verbal, visual, auditorial, sensation, tastes, etc.] and watch magic be produced all within your Being.

Hear their fluctuating tonality, rationally piece together the context of the content shared, allow their emotions to become your emotions while you intently listen.

When done correctly:

Listening becomes one of the most addicting habits that will completely change your life.

Simply doing this - you no longer disrupt the speakers flow - so YOU can absorb the nuance value being provided.

One of the most annoying traits anyone can have is the lack of self-control to simply not talk while another is speaking i.e. a child stuck in an adult's body.

And quite frankly, it is one the main traits I look for to avoid wasting my time on the wrong individuals.

The very moment you continue talking to an audience that does not listen, is the very moment, what you have to say loses it's value.

Value is absorbed because it benefits an individual's life.

In great conversation, what is verbalized is valuable because the speaker knows his/her audience well enough to provide content that can be beneficial to their life.

Now what if it were the wrong audience?

In a weird way, the speaker not only is wasting time, but chasing for validation from an audience that is simply not interested.

Every additional effort [specifically when it's clear that there is a lack of compatible and complementary alignment] only continues to devalue what is offered.

The longer you stay, value continues to drop.

Get out now.

YOUR NATURAL BORN SUPERPOWER

Empathy.

One critical social tool, that not only creates geniune connections out of thin area, but it's presence is mandatory to resolve conflicts caused by miscommunication.

A very human part of you will feel a need to take a break from being locked into our 'self-obsessed' train.

Empathy because a therapeutic and liberating experience that draws us outside ourselves and into another world.

Why do you enjoy movies?

Because your mind gets to enter a completely different life experience through the main character.

Empathy is a discipline you must practice daily as the benefits compound overtime.

As your thinking shifts so will your life shift.

Your mind provides you thoughts from different perspectives which were once completely alien to you.

It was empathy that allowed me to better understand that the traditional education was not going to allow me to travel the world and live in varies foreign countries without any limits.

It was empathy which revealed how I can better communicate with strangers efficiently and effective so I could create an amazing international network to enjoy the globe's adventure with

It was empathy be came the key component to grasp a very complex art form such as jiu-jitsu.

Empathy is your natural born superpower allowing you to completely transform your life to live exactly how you desire.

So you see.

Resolving silly "arguments" caused by miscommunication because nothing more but a practical daily practice to develop your active listening, empathy and communication skills.

As a mere by product of those skills developed to a high level allow you to actualize your most desired life outcomes no matter where you are in life.

All you need is the right information, proper guidance then relentless self-discipline to put it into action to transform your reality.

HOW TO ELIMINATE RECURRING PROBLEMS FOREVER

Let's round up every critical point so you can walkaway from with this one main takeaway.

1. The root cause of arguments originate from a 'self-absorbed' modern culture to prove to others their position of status on the social hierarchy.

2. In every social interaction there is only one microphone so it must be passed one at a time to have a productive and meaningful conversation.

3. Active Listening allows you to access the life changing powers of empathy which will revolutionize your life by absorbing novel perspectives.

With all this in mind let me reveal to you how to "eliminate these recurring problems for the rest of your life…" mentioned at the beginning of this entry.

When you have tried everything within your power and nothing seems to work…

It is time to walkaway.

Your experiments reveal that you and this particular individual are not the right match.

As I mentioned in one entry "The Powerful SECRET TREASURES From Willingness To Walkaway"

There were one too many times where I severely struggled most when I with the willingness to walkaway.

But everything changed when a hard lesson was cemented even further after this unique life experience…

You can read more about it here: https://www.philosophyofjiu-jitsu.com/p/tomorrow-is-never-guaranteed-how-to-quit-neglecting-the-present-for-an-imaginary-future

After reading that entry you will experience a sense of urgency like no other.

I highly recommend this one.

With all that said, I hope you got some value into today's entry and wish you all the best.

See ya on the mats,

POJ