Do you feel like you’re drowning in a sea of “yes”?

Every nod, every agreement, every time you cave to someone else's demands – it's another nail in the coffin of your dreams… It’s time for you to wake up. Your life is slipping through your fingers and you don't even realize it yet.

This desperate need to people please everybody is at the expense of your own self-demise.

And yet you haven’t realized how your lack of ability to say “no” under these social pressure situations will dictate the trajectory of your life.

Remember those times where you couldn’t muster up the courage to say a simple two letter word? Next thing you know you end up doing something that does not appeal to your self-interest but for someone else. Time wasted, energy drained, maybe even pointless money expenditure and lets not forget the opportunity costs.

In today’s entry - we will dive deeper into these critical problems millions face now:

• How to actually have lasting and meaningful relationships in life

• What cause so much resistance to say no under social pressure

• How to finally take back control of your life to meet your own demands

Everything you’ve always wanted to accomplish in life really comes down to this one thing…

THE SUFFOCATING CHOKE OF SOCIAL PRESSURE

Why the fuck can't you say "no"?

It is a simple two letter word with one syllable for crying out loud.

It's not quantum physics here. It's primal. We're hardwired like cavemen, desperate for the tribe's approval. Survival instinct on overdrive.

But look around you now – we're not dodging sabertooth tigers anymore - and yet these primal sensations linger as if it were the prehistoric past.

We're killing ourselves slowly, one "yes" at a time.

Remember the shit you did to fit in? The beer you chugged even though you hated the taste of it back in high school? The soul-crushing job you took because "it's what people do"?

Yeah, that's the ancestral whisper of fear designed for you to seek comfort [and pleasures].

But in today’s time, it isn’t ensuring your survival, it's sabotaging your life.

You're at a crossroads, and the choices are:

1. Keep playing dumb, suffocating your true self for a pat on the back.

2. Rip off the fake mask and be you - don’t like it? Fuck em.

Here's the brutal truth:

Every time you cave, every time you nod and smile when you want to say "NO", you're strangling your inner voice in a rear naked choke.

That gut feeling? You know. Your inner voice. It's gasping for air.

Your younger self? That scared kid who just wanted to belong? They taught you well. Too well. Now you're a master at self-repression, a goddamn black belt in people-pleasing.

And the payoff? A hollow shell where your “what would have been“ identity used to be. You're so terrified of judgment, so paralyzed by the prospect of standing alone, that you've become a ghost in your own life while catering to everybody else.

The thought of loneliness? It's not just scary. It's fuckin paralyzing.

But here's what you need to understand:

That fear of being alone? It's a prison of your own making.
And the key to freedom? It's been in your pocket all along.

It's time to break free. To reclaim your voice. To look fear in the eye and say, "FUCK OFF."

Because if you don't? If you keep saying "yes" when everything in you is screaming "no"? You'll wake up one day and realize you've lived someone else's life they had planned for you.

Imagine: you’re on your death bed with no sincere real meaningful connection to be with you during your remaining hours alive… nobody there with you.

And trust me, there's no loneliness more profound than that represents the quality of your life.

HOW TO ACTUALLY WAKE THE FUCK UP

Have you ever actually set aside time for you to reflect on your life experience so far?

Could you honestly say:

“I could die tomorrow and be happy with the life I lived… everything from here is just a bonus”.

These were my exact words stated seven years ago.

You see.

I would not have said those words if I did not experience a “flip the table” moment.

You know those moments in life where enough was enough. Moments where you were sick and tired of catering to everybody but yourself. It’s almost as if your blood reaches a boiling point.

A flip the table moment are those breaking point [experienced internally where you finally decide to step up] to make a serious change of your life.

Enough is enough.

Congratulations, this is where you finally start snapping out of this hypnonetic haze society operates under.

You finally decide to grab your life by the horns and start saying NO more than you say yes.

If you are a known people pleaser then this will be difficult in the beginning as you engage in this new behavior, but I ensure you: your life is about to get a whole lot better before it gets worse.

As you begin collecting more positive life references, saying no to anything that does not benefit your own self-interests, you single handedly create a long term future meant for you - not for anybody else.

Do you understand the significance of this?

You’ve created a reality where it is 100% compatible to your unique individuality… and those that remain are meaningful connections you do not have to question it’s legitimacy.

And those moment you do say yes?

It has so much significance that everybody involved gets super excited to be around you… but more on that later.

FROM PEOPLE PLEASER TO SHAMELESS SELFISH-SELFLESSNESS

There’s no better way to tie it all together than a personal life experience.

I’ve had my fair share of these “flip the table” moments and every single time:

It has lead to a revolutionary change that contributed positively not only in my life, but those apart it.

• Dropping out of college lead to creating a lifestyle where I can travel the world indefinitely.

• Being bullied left me severely socially awkward and now I have an absolutely incredible network of friends at all corners of the globe.

• Snapping out of a pure leisure and pleasure phase of life completely changed the trajectory of my life [and was a massive wake up call to my friends that it’s time to get serious about life success].

• and countless other life experiences…

Say yes enough times, eventually you will say no then rarely say yes.

That’s exactly what happened.

Was it hard to go against the grain [people’s expectations of me based on initial interactions] - of course, but I never signed a contract to make my life’s purpose to please everybody besides myself.

One must never compromise individuality to placate to others that only considered one’s own self-interests.

The blessing in disguise?

You find out who really is in it for the long-term instead a fake short-term relationship.

The evidence you will be provided if only you engage in this polarizing behavior [saying no and appealing only to your self-interest for an extended period of time].

Many are afraid to find out what lies on the other side but make the commitment if you want to identify where your meaningful relationships truly are.

The negative emotions you will experience are none other than a trick of the mind.

Reality: people’s reaction to you do not represent your entire existence so stop reacting to this false perception as if it were true, only you can dictate what is true.

As time passes, the real ones stay:

These individuals are understanding and supportive in your personal journey to become the highest potential self.

Having gone through the stubborn phase, when you do decide to accept an invitation by saying “yes” it’s significance is tremendous - your presence outweighs gold.

Everybody that truly knows who you are never question your intentions as it is as real as it gets.

You operate from “take it or leave it” mindset.

A mode of Being that not many engage in due to it’s polarizing nature.

What remains of your life is pure authenticity as it’s no longer is in your nature to repress your true authentic Self.

This existence radiance of energy [cannot be faked as the Self is always coming through]is extremely rare aura to stubble upon.

You shift to a paradigm where you are not proactively trying, it is a byproduct of your very existence i.e. Being, not Doing.

THE REALITY BEHIND “NO”

You assert your boundaries by drawing a line in the sand.

It’s realizing that you have life priorities that are more significant than other activities trying to diverge your attention.

No provides you the power to truly focus on the task at hand, without any distraction, so you can make depth progress.

Saying “no” becomes one of the most practical forms of self-love.

It is not your responsibility how others react to your standards as all you are doing is what is best for you, but it is there responsibility to be understanding of the situation and be a supportive individual that is apart of your life.

Think back to all those times you’ve agreed [when deep down inside you do not want to] and what opportunities you have lost…

By tapping into those emotions you will do what is right for you.

When it is time to relax and take a break:

Your company is genuinely appreciated because those close to you know you would not want to be anywhere else in the world but in the shared moment together.

Keep being your shamelessly authentic self - there is no better life experience.

See ya on the mats,

POJ