Throughout the years, you've "changed" for the better, but did you really?

Here's the ultimate "zero bullshit" test to find out if it's been this "positive affirmation" ego soothing self talk this entire time or a real tangible transformation that actually stands the test of time. How you respond to this vital test will reveal how much you've actually changed whilst on your journey. After this test, you will either feel extremely liberated or severely depressed, so consider this a stern warning as this isn't for the fate of heart…

If think you're ready - for the last and final test - continue to read further:

SELF-ACTUALIZATION

Deep identity level change is fuckin' hard to accomplish.

To have your most desired life experiences means you must reverse engine the ideal self to reinvent yourself then put in proactive steps to transform into a completely different person.

Who you are, right now, entitles you to the results you have:

Be it the color belt you have around your waist when you train jiu-jitsu in the gi.

The amount of money in your bank account that represents the tangible value contributed to the market place.

Your state of mind when you reflect on all your past experiences that shaped your sense of self in this very moment.

You see.

The journey started when you decided it was time to begin a new life.

The desire to embrace a new life experience that is vastly different to what you've been accustom to nearly the first two decades of your life.

You do exactly that… embrace change.

New environment.

New faces.

New everything.

As you endure the uncomfortable sensation, you end up becoming the byproduct of that new environment.

But here's where billions go wrong after experience any type of "success."

Everyone makes the same mistake getting:

Comfort.

The world's most addicting drug of all time kicks in.

Being heavily linked to your primal nature [the evolutionary competitive edge known as adaptation often gets suppressed i.e. if you don't use it, you lose it.] as your mind always finds to backward rationalize your complacency.

Having traveled for a dozen years and living in foreign cultures things started getting "boring."

On the surface it would become completely reasonable conclusion to say I am still growing and yet maybe not.

It did not matter how novel the experience was… or how often I did what I already knew was enjoyable.

I kept feeling this sensation of boredom which started to kick in late 2020 at an all time "high on life" season of my life.

As I reflect on these past four years, in the strangest way, I snapped out of my very own hamster wheel of life of living in another foreign country living the ever so overhyped "instagram" life that keeps being pushed in front of you... to return home where the journey started.

That last sentence was absolutely unimaginable to hear from me… especially to those who know me best.

THE CALL TO ADVENTURE STARTS HERE

Every single person escapes their past to create a new life.

I never had the best experience growing up in my home country.

In fact, the majority of my upbringing was far from ideal, I hope nobody has to go through such traumatic life experiences.

Crippling social anxiety to the point the mere thought of a social venue would have my heart pumping as if I had just ran a mile.

Weekends that consisted of living in a virtual world through the means of video games, while movies play on repeat in the background all day, because I was so naive to what a normal life looked like.

Trapped in a Way of life that would set me up for an absolute disastrous future outcome due to the odds that were stacked against me.

You see.

Like you, and everybody else that aspires to live out their dream life, my starting point was far below ground zero [progress meant clawing my way out of such a deep abyss] to reach society's baseline standard of a normal life:

Have friends from school or at work.

Meet someone that had mutual attraction.

Start a family and climb up the corporate office.

Anyone who strived for the life mentioned above… I went for a target so far beyond it was absolutely deemed "impossible."

Bare in mind: the vision I am going to share below is considered some what normal nowadays, but at the time this vision birth, it was very far from normal in 2011 terms.

For me?

There was a different life calling:

I wanted to travel the world indefinitely.

I wanted to have an international social connections.

I wanted to live a life so different than everybody's desired life outcomes.

I wanted to reinvent mySelf because who I was became unbearable to accept.

And over the past 12 years, I did just that and more, by completely shattering my past self's imagination.

The type of life experiences that feels as if it were a lucid dream that you barely remember because it was so surreal…

Returning back to a Croatian pirate ship to have a sunset dinner with a handful of my close friends [while my phone continued to blow up with sales notification].

Exploring jaw dropping Rome with the type of girl I always desired to be with [in the past I truly believed that jaw dropping attractive women like this would never know I existed and yet she was madly in love with me].

Celebrated my birthday with my friends - who I adventured together with all around the world - in a Spanish castle for a week.

And so much more…

As you can imagine a lot of personal transformation work has to occur to actualize novel life experiences that sound like a Hollywood script writer came up with..

You know what?

The ultimate test to see if I truly changed during my time living overseas came to this:

Actually deciding to live back home exactly where all my trauma originated from.

The very place that caused me to embark on this unimaginable life adventure.

In a strange way…

My experience here may exceed my developmental experiences these past dozen years living abroad.

TALK ABOUT IT OR BE ABOUT IT

"If you truly claim to have changed then why don't you go face your demon's face-to-face then?"

That was how this 'never before felt' urge happened when the thought of returning back home occurred.

I wanted to face the last and final boss.

Put myself to the real test.

Instead of running away from the demons in my closest [through justifiable reasons of living my best life].

And once you release your traumas…

Wow.

The rewards you are showered with surpasses all those novel experiences collected out in your adventurous lifestyle.

Something that is so simple when viewed on the surface and yet the depth of experience contains so much richness [because the mere fact you cannot get these rewards like this anywhere else in the world].

Nowhere else.

Your experience back home, where your traumas once thrived, no longer distorts your subjective perception of reality.

You know what could be worse?

Continuing to escape your past while living in a state of fear.

Stop your cowardliness by overcompensating for a past that runs your life.

You know.

Those very cringe methods out of overcompensating can only strengthen your traumas existence over you more and more as time passes.

Many will not be able to see what your hiding, but to the trained eye, it is felt like something is just "off" even if they do not know all the details about your past.

It's simple.

You can paint gold over a piece of shit again and again, but at the end of the day, deep down you and I both know exactly what it is…

See ya on the mats,

POJ