You work hard every day to hopefully be able to live the life you always wanted.

Set a goal.
Do what is required.
Accomplish goal.
Repeat.

A common Way of life that transcends time no matter the century.

But what if I told you… it was all for nothing.

Let me explain:

Today, as of writing this July 1st 2024, I got a text from my mom that my grandpa had just passed away…

Save your sympathy - I don’t need it.
Grateful and appreciative for him.
It is what it is: time goes on and waits for nobody.

Even though I was never super close with my grandpa. I observed his Way of life very intently throughout the years.

He taught me extremely valuable life lessons - more indirect than direct.

The one that lingers through my mind most now [a topic that inspired me to write this specific entry].

Many will benefit from this experience saving one from going through this unfortunate reality for themselves.

But before I do that I must share with you who my grandpa was:

Anytime someone needed a handy man or needed help, he would say yes, to fix their problem.

That was just how my grandpa was.

Extremely practical to fix problems by coming up with solutions.

That was the nature of his Way of life.

We never spoke much. The polite greeting whenever either of us came home. When I moved out I would visit and even then we spoke a bit more than usual but never super deep as he always was in the middle of working on something.

Despite having a handful of actual conversations with my grandpa.

There was one thing I do remember him telling me directly as a young adult trying to figure out how the world works:

Never sit around and do nothing - you will become a waste and die faster.

Remember this key point as both the lesson and irony will deepen the learning experience

You see.

After all his children grew up he entered an active retirement to keep himself busy.

He hated doing nothing.

It was the reason why he was always in and out of the house doing random projects.

Fixing cars. Installing satellite dishes. Repairing the house. Building my baby brother a tree house.

Anything.

During one of my trips back to the homeland, his brother’s wife told me my grandpa had a retirement plan to return back to the home country to enjoy the rest of his years.

Unfortunately something tragic happened.

While back visiting his native country, after a night out enjoying himself with his family, he had a stroke that had him enter a coma.

After months of waiting anxiously…

We got good news and bad news.

He survived but it came at a severe price that meant him living the rest of his life on his deathbed [we hoped for a full recovery but unfortunate that was not the case].

Upon waking up from the coma until his recent passing - it spanned out to be nearly two years being stuck in a vegetable state.

He cannot move for himself so all he does is lay in bed - day and night - while his nephew’s family takes care of him.

Can you comprehend a life experience where you are unable to do anything but be stuck with your thoughts [while your body slowly deteriorates nor do you have the ability to speak to anybody].

I highly encourage you to ponder on this reality.

CHOSE YOUR SUFFERING WISELY

We have freedom of opportunities that opens up many choices to pursue.

Out of those choices we have to make critical decisions that will determine life’s trajectory. With every decision comes a price to be paid. No matter how good or bad the decision is…

There will always be a price to pay.

So the focus should not be solely focused on a specific desire outcome, but the better question would be: can you endure the process towards getting there?

Everybody is fighting their own battles every day.

It is easy to criticize others, but when you realize you and everybody has their own things about them, it is unproductive use of life to engage in this hypocritical manner when you too are guilty.

Don’t be a hypocrite. Nobody is perfect.
Accept the faults and move on with your life.

You know.

I could not help but imagine the inner demons he must have been facing while in an extremely unfortunately state.

A type of torment that slowly eats away at your soul as truth becomes undeniable no matter how hard you try to avoid it.

It is extremely unfortunate my grandpa’s remaining years were the exact opposite to what he really wanted [enjoy his home country’s culture].

Not only did he get what he wanted, he got exactly what he did not want.

Remember the lesson he taught me?

Never sit around and do nothing - you will become a waste and die faster.

He returned back to his home country alright… but he was not able to enjoy any of it like he desired all those years.

Imagine this:

It’s as if he was participating in a marathon, was less than an inch away from crossing the finish line.

Not only did he fall short of the goal, but he would experience the agony of never able to fulfill his retirement dream…

Physically stuck thinking about his life regrets as death comes lingering any day to knock on his door… and that day was today.

That’s the only thing he could do while knowing he was less than inch away from accomplishing his retirement dream.

LIVING FOR TOMORROW

Viewing my grandpa’s life through a psychoanalysis lens - objective cause and effect analysis - there was a lot of essential responsibilities he was avoiding.

On the surface he looked like a man on a mission, but exploring the depth revealed something else.

A part of me thinks that it was one of the core reasons why he stayed busy all the time.

Staying busy became a means of escapism.

A distraction to avoid the essential responsibilities that were required being a present father and grandfather to live a fulfilling life.

Without going into personal detail: I not only saw the negative side effects it had on others, but experienced first hand it’s rippling effects from the mindfully absent masculine figure.

My grandpa stayed busy as much as he could - while daydreaming of the return back to his home country to enjoy the rest of his retirement.

Neglecting the present moments that he would never get back again while his mind was elsewhere.

How many times do you see people living for the future at the expense of today?

Obviously you are aware about the traditional path where you work to climb the corporate ladder so that one day you can finally enjoy your life during retirement.

But what if that retirement was not guaranteed?
What if tomorrow was not guaranteed?
What if you all you have truly have is right now?

You learned first hand the unfortunate situation my grandpa was in.

The irony?

As you know he always stayed busy while looking forward to his retirement plans to get him through his days.

He got his retirement plan alright but he was not able to enjoy it in the Way imagined all those years of his life.

Instead he was less than an inch away from the finish line and was forced in a situation that goes against his entire life philosophy.

My grandpa had no choice but to face the regrets he had in life as there was nothing he could physically do but think about his life.

This experience is still very new but I know it will positively transform my life outlook and trajectory.

You must not wait to do the things you’ve always want to do in life for a future that is not guaranteed.

Stop wasting your life doing actions that are not aligned to your individuality and core values.

Do what you’ve been waiting to do RIGHT NOW.

The longer you wait [out of fear of the unknown] it will lead you down to the a tragic end like my grandpa had his last waking moments.

Apply that indispensable piece of information to revolutionize your life’s trajectory that surpasses your wildest imagination.

Remember the lesson he taught me?

Never sit around and do nothing - you will become a waste and die faster.

It hits deeper knowing that being busy should never reach a point where you neglect the now for a future that may never even happen.

Enjoy the ‘right nows’ of life as tomorrow is never guaranteed for anyone.

That was the last and final lesson my grandpa taught me with his passing…

Rest in peace Grandpa - you will be missed, I’ll be sure to continue making you proud.

See ya on the mats,

POJ